Adjusting To New Norms
Finding & Creating Temporary Structures
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
When trauma hits, the initial stages are just a complete shake up—shock, adrenaline, chaos, survival. A couple weeks into it, you start to realize that life has changed. Quite a lot. All the routines, activities, and ways of being you used to know so well have completely changed.
You may notice this in bursts of anxiety, feeling bored or lost, unsure what to do, obsessively listening to news to see what now, feeling like you should somehow be carrying on the same productive fast-paced way you were 2 weeks ago.
But the truth is life is not the same as it was 2 weeks ago in any way. You are not the same as you were 2 weeks ago. Everything is different, and denying that or avoiding that can actually increase the anxiety and unease tenfold.
It’s important to recognize the intensity and gravity of the situation, and to allow ourselves some grace and compassion within that. It’s okay to slow down, it’s normal to feel heavy or overwhelmed, it’s totally okay to not be as productive or to have a shorter attention span right now!
What is really important, is to focus on the day at hand and try to do the best with where you are at in the moment.
When I was in the hospital after having incurred a significant spinal cord injury, it was too much to think about anything too far out. If I thought about what I had lost, I would spiral into a pit I wasn’t sure I’d make it out of. If I thought about the ‘what ifs’ I would waste a lot of precious energy in ways that wouldn’t have served me imagining the thousands of grim possibilities. What I had to do was only focus on the moment I was in and the task at hand. Which, for me at the time was trying again to move my hand in order to pick up a cup of water.
I structured my days around different exercises to work through, naps, reading, visitations, and more exercises. PT would come in the morning, then breakfast, then OT, then sleep, then Cognitive, then visitors, then I would try to meditate, then sleep. This little schedule gave me structure. It helped keep me focus and gave me a sense of normalcy within the most abnormal of times. And it kept me motivated within little bite size chunks that I could work with.
At this time in our global community, we are in a trauma. We are likely experiencing this on an individual level as well as a collective level. Along with just getting shooken up and simply trying to find the ground beneath us, we are all trying to grapple with what the heck our temporary new normal is. With many of us staying home, caring for kids, trying to figure out work or unemployment, dramatic shifts in our recreational and social lives, it’s imperative at this time that you help your brain and body re-orient to the reality of now.
One thing that can help significantly is to create some new structure for yourself.
Structure as I’m talking about it really isn’t so much about putting pressure on yourself, or creating any more shoulds in your life. Think of it more as a way to feel a sense of normal and regularity—of routine in un-routine times. It’s like a container within which you can find more space to allow for what is arising within you, within the day, and within this moment in time.
Maybe that looks like waking up at the same time every day to make coffee and take a breath of fresh air. Maybe that means taking more breaks to ground with your body or the Earth throughout the day. Maybe that means taking a walk at the same time each evening.
Whatever this looks like for you, create some healthy structure for yourself—even just a little bit—and commit to it daily.
Here are some ideas for some simple things you might incorporate into your daily life as you attempt to create temporary structures in this new norm.
And remember, be gentle with this. This is hard and scary and beautiful and devastating… all of it. Take good care with yourself now. And always, please reach out at any time and let me know how you are adjusting to your new norms.